Cold Feet and Cold Weather!

[purplehello98]

Well, this is Sunday night, and I fly out on Tuesday! So I have a whopping two more days here until I leave for the great city of London! It's really exciting---but I'm also scared shitless. What if I don't make friends? What if I don't have enough to do and I'm bored and alone? What if I have too much to do and I'm overwhelmed? And then there's me and Grey. Things are great with him, and logically I know, and he has expressed, that he's going to wait for me, and he's not going away. But I guess I'm scared on a subconscious level. I have some abandonment issues due to past experiences with guys (i.e. over the summer when I got ghosted) and part of me still feels like the past several months with him have been a dream, that I'm going to wake up one morning all alone or come back from London to find out he has no clue who I am, or something horrible like that. I love him so dearly. We were going to try and hold all our tears until tomorrow but we couldn't make it. Or at least I couldn't, because I sobbed in his arms tonight. I don't think I'll be able to process it or anything until I'm over there and we keep calling and texting and e-mailing and IMing. That he's for real. That he's here to stay. I love him so much.

Anyways, all this is giving me cold feet. But I'm going to go, I'm going to do the solo, and WE'RE ALL GONNA HAVE FUN! That said, Blue's going to be there too, a train ride away, Grey's going to visit, and my mum will too! And I think I might even see Pink as well! And I hope I'll make new friends too. :) I'm sure it won't be as bad as I fear.

That's it for now. This girl is getting really sleepy! Talk to y'all soon. :)

P.S. Happy seven years since debut to VERIVERY! I love them :D They're such an important part of my life and I've been a Verrer for almost seven years, i.e. over a third of my life! Their music has helped me through so much and is so incredibly valuable to me. WIthout them I would not be who I am today!