PurpleHello98

In the week leading up to and week of my moontime I mistakenly thought I'd relapsed into depression, because my PMS symptoms were that bad. The day after I finished bleeding, I wrote the rest of Dollshops & Deathmages, in a dramatic restoration of my spirits and creativity. I don't want to be miserable and listless for half a month, even if I'm in a creative flow for the other half. In quite the synchronicity, The Cozy Creative posted a video about how her menstrual cycle affects her creativity.


It made me feel better, knowing that I'm not alone in having to plan my writing work around moontime, but I really wish my symptoms would be limited to the week of moontime because two weeks is a lot of time lost.

Now to wait for the other authors participating in the cozy fantasy anthology to finish their stories. I've also talked to my cover designer about a cover for Dollshops & Deathmages, because after the anthology has run its course the participating authors will release their stories individually as they see fit. I'm hoping to make Dollshops & Deathmages an evergreen prequel novella and occasional reader magnet for the subsequent cozy books I have planned, so it needs its own cover.

Back when I was employed, I saved up and got myself covers for a couple of the cozy books I'm writing (Dragons & Debutantes and Pumpkin Jack Proposes) since covers are the biggest authorial expense. Dollshops & Deathmages wasn't planned for because I didn't know I was going to participate in a cozy anthology until the opportunity came up, and I crafted this story specifically for this anthology. So I have had to commission the cover for this now, not in advance like the others.

My parents are decently supportive about this indie author project and funded the cover for Dollshops & Deathmages, but I'm not decently grateful because I wanted their support long before this and didn't get it. If I'd gotten their support before this I would've had a job and would've been able to pay for my own covers. Their opposition to me taking that job was very gendered, so I don't feel privileged at all. Even though I am.

I'm bitter and prideful whenever I have to ask them for money, and when they sweetly tell me I have only to ask them, I'm overwhelmed by anger because they could have been supportive all along but only chose to be after I was driven into a corner and had no options left.

I think the contrast between them happily giving me handouts vs. their crashout when I wanted to work at the bookstore is probably because they like me being at home and dependent. I mean it makes no sense that they're supportive about this, but weren't supportive about the stable salaried thing.