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Guess who's in Edinburgh right now? Blue and I took the train up yesterday morning after a scare in which I realized I had sent my booking confirmation to the wrong e-mail address and I would have to buy another ticket. 60 quid down the drain... but we made it! And the train journey was very scenic indeed. We saw the sea, and beautiful cliffs, and old cathedrals, and it was spectacular!

This is probably just what I needed to cure my insane burn-out. My Ancient History portfolio (two short essays) was due on Friday (today is Sunday) and i was driven insane working on it all week when i already had very little motivation. And then, of course, early in the week I got my period, and later in the week I came down with a cold. Woo hoo!

Blue's term ended a week before mine, so he's been staying with me in my flat in London. It's been pretty fun, although insanely cramped--he's had to sleep on a cot on the floor which is so cramped we basically have to climb over each other to get out of bed, because these rooms are only meant for one person. Also, my aforementioned period-and-cold combo (though the period is now over with) meant I wasn't the most fun sightseeing companion---though we still did manage to get some fun stuff in this week. We went to a severely overpriced Italian place with a snooty waiter near Farringdon---though the food was really good, just not worth $60 or $70 when converted to USD.

In other highlights, Friday we went to the London Transport Museum! It was pretty cool, though also somehow a little bit underwhelming---I thought there would be more exhibits or something. My and Blue's favourite part was the gift shop! The different lines of the Tube and bus lines and everything all have their own moquettes, or designs for their seat covers. I got a little pouch in the Elizabeth line moquette, since my name is Elizabeth and my favourite/signature colour is purple! I also got a little Elizabeth Line keychain.

Tuesday we went to Kensington Palace! It was really cool. I can't remember anything else we did but I'm sure Blue will likely include his highlights in his blog.

And now my classes in London are officially over. I'm a bit sad to be leaving this city that I've grown to love and look upon as a second home, but I'll be very glad to be once more among my friends and with my lovely boyfriend. I've missed him probably more than even I know this whole time, and I can't wait to be able to spend more time with him and everything! Getting tired of someone you love is a luxury, so to those who have it, cherish it and cherish your loved one. Not that I think I'll get tired of him---at least not easily!

I do have one more project left, for my accursed Global London Lit class. I don't even know why I dread that class so much. I have to do a group vlog, and I've been assigned to talk about East London. I thought it would be easy---we took a field trip to the Docklands last week---but now the professor wants sources and is saying "it can't just look like you did a simple Google search for research". Well, I don't have the flipping time or energy for anything else!! So I'll scrounge up some JSTOR articles and half-ass it. I already got an upper second on the other half of my grade for this class so I'll just do my best with what few f-cks I can scrounge up to give.

Gosh, I've missed blogging whilst being burnt out! I wish more of my friends kept blogs I could read. I like knowing that my friends read my blog---at least I have a couple people reading the stuff I send out into cyberspace.

Anyways, I promise to return more quickly next time with another post! Detailing all of my and Blue's Scottish Shenanigans. Toodles!

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I realized the other night, as I was messaging Grey and Blue, that I have less than a month left (actually, three weeks today) until I'm back home. It hasn't even been three months since I came here, but it's still scary. It's starting to hit me as I tick items off my bucket list. I've made it my goal to try every line of the Tube and every other method of TFL (Transport for London) transport before I leave (except the bikes, as embarrassingly I never learned to ride a bike without training wheels, growing up in a hilly neighbourhood where basically any road I tried to cycle on would have resulted in certain concussion). I've done all the Tube lines except maybe the Hammersmith and City, and I take buses regularly. I took the DLR last night and even got to sit in the front of the train and watch the tracks ahead of me---a very cool experience! I took one Overground train and it was so mind-numbingly uncool I don't intend to take another. The Elizabeth Line, by contrast, was very cool--besides sharing my name and my favourite colour, it's super cushy. Now all that's left is Thameslink, the Cable Car and the Trams. But I wonder---was that my last time on that train route? Was that the last time in that station?

It feels like the possibilities are slipping away---London isn't my oyster anymore, but a frantic rush to tick off the last things I want to do before I leave. I'll be back, I know I will, but I won't be living here. I'm at peace with that in one way---I've grown to love and appreciate my hometown and my friends there, and I couldn't go any longer being so far away from Grey. But at the same time, I've loved it here. For all the grief the British university model has given me and all the quibbles I've had with London, I love it here. It's an odd bittersweet feeling. It isn't home, but everything was beginning to feel oddly familiar, becoming a bit like a second home. I really will miss it here.

Last week I went to Oxford for potentially my last time to visit Blue. It was a total blast, except for the part where I got my skates too narrow at the ice rink and it made my foot sore for a couple days afterward. But we went to the Turf Tavern, a hundreds-of-years-old pub, and the Covered Market, and C.S. Lewis's house, and it was just generally a blast!

I'm burning out so much recently. I haven't blogged in three weeks, I've barely been able to hang out with anyone because everyone's been away for Easter break and/or busy, and I miss home. I miss my friends. I miss familiarity. I miss being able to actually be in the same room as Grey and do more things---video calls just aren't the same and there's only so much you can do over the Internet---YouTube or TV are our main options, though he did introduce me to a card game called Dominion recently. I have too much damn work to do and zero motivation and I'm sick of it. i don't know how to fix this, and my therapist won't reply to my damn texts. I like her, but I think I need to start seeing someone new.

I can't motivate myself to read anything besides contemporary romance novels anymore, and while I love those I'd like some sort of motivation to read something else. And I keep watching YouTube and going on Instagram and everything because that's all I have the mental energy to do anymore. And I don't really have a support system to help me through. Grey's 4000+ miles away, Blue's a good couple hours away by train and even my therapist is totally unreliable. Thank God I only have three weeks left, and half of that is for doing fun travel-y things with Blue and with my mum, who's going to come visit right before I leave. Any work more than the bare minimum is going to send me over the edge. I don't even have the mental energy to put my receipts into a spreadsheet half the time, so i don't know how much I'm spending, and I keep wanting to buy more clothes because Vinted is an evil addictive app with really really cute clothes on it and sellers who won't just accept my unrealistic lowball offer. AGH!!

Anyways, the other night, I went to see The Devil Wears Prada: the musical! It was pretty good. I loved the set for the apartment, with the brick walls, first of all. The music was really good, especially the opening number "I Mean Business" and "Bon Voyage" and its reprise, which are absolutely golden. I loved the "hot nurse" arc for Emily that I don't think was in the original.

I need to figure out A) what other West End shows I'm going to see while here and B) how the hell I'm going to get the motivation to do my damn Ancient History portfolio that I haven't started on yet which is due a week from Friday. Fuck my life.

Sorry for the bummer tone this time, but I'm just in a really bad headspace right now, which I pray will get better over the summer when I have my favourite people nearby, and hopefully find a competent therapist who can meet regularly, because I think I'm at the end of my rope with this one. In the meantime, God help me.
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And a zillion to go, it feels like.

But I've been having fun since my last post! The other day I went to visit Blue up at (brace yourselves) Oxford, where he's doing a semester at Keeble College studying medievalism! I didn't get out of the house till terribly late, though, and then at the local station had to wait FORTY minutes for a train which I then took for six minutes to change to another station. At that point I may as well have walked.

But several train changes later (and one bus, since Oxford's station is being renovated) I made it! Blue greeted me at the station and we walked through ye olde city of Oxford! It was lovely, although there's a great deal more beige brick compared to my area of London. We went to a lovely mall---malls are one of my happy places---and got to ride some lovely escalators. (I've been developing an odd obsession with escalators of late. They are so very fun to ride!)

We then went to the Bodlean Library (my sincerest apologies for most definitely misspelling that) and saw a ridiculously small exhibition on Jane Austen. (which somehow still got quite the billing---I think the signs for it outside were bigger than the exhibition itself!) It was reminiscent of another disappointing exhibition we saw a couple of years ago...

Then I got to see the hallowed halls of Keeble! Although apparently Blue seldom has class there as tutors just come to his building. It vexes him greatly, and I get why! If one is at Oxford, one ought to make the most of it!

We went to the chapel service in the evening---it was Candlemas! Which is where you get candles and the (Anglican) priest blesses them and you light and hold them during the service. I didn't know that existed! And I'm Episcopalian---I though we were big into the ecclesiastical calendar, but I guess we don't compare to the Church of England! And then we went to FORMAL FREAKING DINNER!! it was the most formal meal I've ever been to. The started was this delicious mushroom tart/quiche, and for the main course there was GUINEA FOWL! I'd never had it before, but it was positively delectable. There were such excellent boiled potatoes (ha) and warm cabbage (that one was weird) on the side and sticky toffee pudding for dessert! It was splendid!

I did end up getting back really late, though. I got to the local train station after midnight and was the only one there, and it was really creepy. I couldn't find my way out for a bit either. I called Grey when I got to the station, when I was waiting for and on the bus (where the bus driver floored it as soon as I stepped on the bus while I was still looking for my credit card in my purse, and when I stumbled backward had the audacity to bang on his window and point at the payment terminal) and until I got back to my dorm because I was creeped out. And I didn't feel calm enough to go to sleep till about 2.

Yesterday was quite good as well---except that Grey broke the news to me that he's not going to be able to make it over here after all. I was really bummed, but obviously I understand---I won't get into it for privacy's sake, but he has a really good reason. It's just a bummer. :(

Today I slept in way late and I'm still tired! My ancient history class was pretty boring and I'm this close to giving up on reading Mrs Dalloway for my London Literature class for Friday. I've never been able to understand Virginia Woolf very easily, and having to read this book so quickly is definitely not helping with that either. I just struggle with the way it feels like her sentences all blend together with no definitive action, so I can never actually tell what's going on. I suppose that might be the point of her style, though---Modernist stream-of-consciousness writing and all that. I wish I could understand and appreciate it more, but I think it's just not for me.

I'm getting pretty tired now---I'm going to call Grey later, but for now I think I might just chill and do nothing or maybe play DS. The other day a couple friends and I went to the British Museum and I found a CEX store, where I grabbed an armful of DS games! I've been playing Frozen: Olaf's Quest. It's nothing extraordinary but it's pretty enjoyable. Toodles!

Day Out!

Jan. 3rd, 2026 10:18 pm
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Today was a nice day with my friends! Blue, Green and I had dinner, but beforehand Blue and I had a bit of a day out---Green had to work, but Blue and I went into town and went to the mall, where I got a K-pop album, a DVD of Ponyo and a couple random DS games (MySims Racing, Sudoku Mania and Phineas and Ferb Ride Again), and to some other shops. We then went to this fancy little Italian place and I had some really nice pizza! It hit me and Blue while we were out that it was our last day out on the town together as teenagers! Well, in England, we'll have days out on the town, and we'll have days out on the town here once we get back, but it was our last day out on this town as teenagers, since we'll both be turning twenty during our semester abroad. Anyway, it was a great day! ^-^
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This year was a really great year, guys! So I thought I'd do a little blog post to review everything that's happened this year. :)

Spring semester of my freshman year was not super eventful but was pretty cool! I got to deepen my friendships with people at college and even start a K-pop club! I was busy but had a really good time. I had some crushes on guys and almost got the courage to ask one out, though those didn't end up going anywhere---and honestly, I'm glad! Everything that was meant to happen happened in time.

And then after the semester ended, I got to go to FREAKING KOREA!! I'm still so happy I got the chance to go there. I hadn't been on an actual vacation since I was probably six or seven, and even then that was nowhere near as cool as Korea! I won't go into too much detail, since my posts are up here for y'all to go read, but it was so cool and a life-changing experience that really made me want to travel and see the world! It was INSANELY cool and I really hope I get to go again!

Then I had an amazing summer. I hung out with Blue and Green a ton and we had a lot of amazing fun antics! I went back to work at a local grocery store, like I had the previous summer, and met Red, my work bestie, and some other work friends! My work life was a lot more fun than before. And, one particularly amazing thing came from that job... a really cute, really sweet guy asked me out one night! He had come through my lane before and developed a little crush on me so when he saw me a couple weeks later he asked me out. :) He became my first date and my first kiss! And that guy is now my wonderful, amazing, unbeatable boyfriend Grey!

I also had some romantic false leads---my love life was surprisingly active all of a sudden this summer! It's funny now to look back at my thoughts on those other guys at the time. It took me a bit to be sure about Grey, but now I've never been surer about anything. I am so in love with him and just want to always be by his side. <3 Grey, if you're reading this, I love you so much! I can't understate it. Grey's so accepting, understanding, mature and loving. I didn't even know if I could ever find a guy who'd be okay with me being trans! But he's so insanely supportive about everything, and he's also a major goofball and a fellow gamer. :)

Granted, the summer wasn't perfect, even love life-wise---I did have a big heartbreak---but I wouldn't trade any of it for anything. And at least that heartbreak helped me to know that Grey was for real, and trustworthy, when we started dating. :)

This semester was realllllly busy (never taking that many credits again!) but I got to develop my club and my friendships even more. I think I'm finally beginning to see who my best friends at college are! :)

Over Thanksgiving break, after talking with Blue inspired me to seize the day---or, I suppose, the guy---Grey and I became official! And shortly afterward, we said our first I love yous. <3 It was all so exciting and still is!

I also got a hyperfixation on Legally Blonde: The Musical this semester! And I got to go visit Blue out west at his college! And finally, Verivery FINALLY had a comeback this December AND got a win for it!!!

And I got to meet Grey's family and friends recently and everything seems to be going well. :) I'm so in love with him and I'm so happy to have him. I'm also so happy to have all my amazing friends, to go to a nice school, and everything else---and to have this blog! I love blogging here and I hope you guys like reading it. :)

This has been a great year and 2026 has so much in store! If you had a good year, I'm thankful for you, and if not, I hope and pray 2026 has unexpected blessings for you. <3 I'm so looking forward to it! Happy new year, everyone! I'm off to go have lunch with some old friends and then celebrate with Grey tonight!

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I'm a college girl now---and not just because I had my first ramen in my dorm yesterday! (It was a little Hello Kitty noodle cup I got at the World Market in St. Louis when I took a trip thither with Blue on Monday---it was actually really good!) After my post last Thursday, I spent a couple of days making some last rounds before college! Friday was my last "normal" day, and then Saturday and Sunday I visited each side of grandparents. I also spent part of Saturday packing, but spending a little more time packing would've been better. Pro tip: don't leave most of your packing until the day before, because then you'll be up until 2 AM! And then Monday, as I said, Blue and I took a day trip to St. Louis! My mum drove us because she really wanted to see the Doctor Who anniversary display at the Science Centre. Keyword: display---it was a Tardis and a few Sonic Screwdrivers. Granted, that was cool since they were real props from the show, but it was massively underwhelming.

Then we went to Missouri's only k-pop store, Kork! It was really fun, even though it was pretty small. We also had St. Louis Bread Company for lunch! It was kind of sad---it was literally just Panera to the point that even the cups and ads said Panera. We also got lost in the mall trying to find the bathrooms, which are hidden at the end of a long, skinny corridor that's really hard to spot. What the fluff?!? Anyways, afterwards we went to Penzey's and the World Market (where I got so many noodle cups and tteokbokki cups) and checked out Five Below, which I had never been to before! It wasn't that special, but oh well. It was a really fun last hurrah of summer holiday before college!

But honestly, all that kind of seems a world away now, because I moved into college this week! I'm living pretty far from home, but thankfully not too far to drive down there for the weekend or something like that. But luckily there's been enough to do during this orientation week that I've made some potential new friends! Especially my roommate. I'm in a suite, and my roommate and I, as well as our suitemates, have really hit it off! I also have a new group I'm hanging out with that met because some of them and I (I don't have colour named for them yet so I won't W them individually) are in the same department! There are a couple who seem especially cool so far, and I've been having quite a bit of fun hanging out with them all.

Speaking of, yesterday one of them and I went thrifting! Another new acquaintance came along too and it was lovely. I came home with a couple new outfits! The big school events are mostly just standard fare, I think---school spirit stuff, getting-to-know-you stuff, and so on--- but they've been really fun! If I remember anything particularly interesting (my brain's a little fried from getting in bed late all week) I'll make sure to tell y'all! But other than that, I'm really not in my routine yet, so I don't actually know what to do with myself when i don't have any activity to do. It's really odd... I'll have to try and figure that out. So far it's resulted in just aimlessly going on-line whenever I have downtime.

Speaking of the Net, I had to redownload Instagram to connect with people, because Instagram is always the first thing people ask for to communicate. It's a serious bummer to an old neo-Luddite like me who's been planning on getting a flip phone for ages---should I just start giving people my number instead? But then I'd feel left out... ugh!!

But yeah, this seems to be going well so far and I look forward to making aquaintances into friends, meeting new friends, and (of course) classes and all that junk! Sorry if this was incoherent as I'm tired. I'll talk to all y'all soon---toodles!

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