PurpleHello98

So I don't know whether or not my attempt at being clever and having a play on words worked in the title but it's kind of true. I've been struggling with homework recently. By the grace of God, I've been able to spend tonight and last night watching YouTube and doing nothing, but it doesn't even feel like relaxing as much as it feels like crashing. Although part of that is because I've not been able to start until late. Tonight I was walking back from dinner with a friend and saw some people I know and this girl started talking my ear off. She's a good acquaintance and I like talking to her and all, but it was just not the right time, but I couldn't seem to get away. I can ramble too, but it was just annoying.

I can't wait for study abroad. I want to get away sometimes, you know? This weird love triangle that I've been in is stressing me the hell out. I feel this constant pressure to choose one of the two guys but I'm not ready to choose yet, but it feels like this impending doom and pressure. I don't know what the hell to do.

I'm so busy and every weekend being taken up by something or other is not helping! This weekend I'm going to my hometown and see Ink, my theatre friend from high school, be in a play production! I'm going with one of the guys. He's so sweet and I feel like i don't deserve him, which makes it worse that I'm not sure if I want to be with him or the other guy, or maybe neither. I don't know what I feel!!

I manage to have good times, of course, but really, I'm just so tired and busy! And I have a four-day weekend next weekend but I'm going to visit Blue. I'm really excited! Although I also want to take off a couple of days afterward to just rest. I wish it were a week-long break! But the weekend after that I'm going to spend at least one day not leaving the house. I am not going anywhere that weekend!! God help me to not be a pushover and to stick to that!

I got a new Mac mini (and by new I mean a 2009 model) that I put a photocard of Minchan from Verivery (in a photocard stand) on so now it's called Minchan! And it's running XP now. Which is what I'm blogging from right now!

Maybe I'll be better able to relax tomorrow if I don't watch YouTube and instead I just read or surf the Net or watch TV, etc. I find those activities are most relaxing after a long day or work. But it's been so long since I had a nice YouTube and crochet (or game) night! But I'm not even really motivated to game anymore, at least at the moment. And I always do maybe one row of crocheting and then my ADHD takes opposite effect and I concentrate on the video, and then I get distracted. Same with TV and crochet nights. Agh!!

So anyways I'm in this whole debacle right now. I can't wait for all of this to be over. Agh!

(Blogger's note: this entry was slightly tweaked a while after I first posted it.)