The Whole Emotional Range
Nov. 26th, 2025 04:28 pmAfter that, I was just happy. I love spending time with Grey, and I'm basically addicted at this point. He has a calming presence, and he says I do, too. We watched some TV in his living room (Supernanny and Dance Moms, as expected from my highly sophisticated palate) and then we snuggled up under some blankets in his room and watched Wendigoon until we had lunch---which my highly skilled boyfriend made! I swear, he knows how to do everything. He can also play instruments, and draw, and edit videos and animate and probably like twenty other things!! Anyways, he made us some yummy fettucine alfredo and then we played some Minecraft for a few short minutes until we worked on a project for my creative writing class that he's helping with---we have to do something artistic that's outside the realm of creative writing, so I got him with his artistic multi-hyphenated-ness to help me! We worked on that for a while and then I had to go home. :( But I get to see him again tomorrow! :)
Then I kind of did nothing for a few hours---it was very relaxing. In the evening, however, I went out with my parents to their traditional Tuesday night dinner, and that's where it got more stressful. Firstly, my highly sensitive dad (/s) misgendered me and honestly, it feels like he isn't even trying to accept me as trans. It feels like a little thing to be so upset about but it was the cherry on top of my annoyances. My mum was asking what all stuff I had left to do for my study abroad semester and she meant well by it, but it stressed me out because there's a lot of stuff to do and I don't fully understand a lot of it. And I'm tired because I haven't been able to get to sleep at a decent/early time since coming back for Thanksgiving---not that I was getting enough sleep beforehand, but it's worse. So all this amounted to me being crabby. Thankfully, I had driven separately from my parents, so I left early (they're friends with one of the owners of their favourite restaurant and their chats tend to go till very late) and drove around town with my iPod on the car stereo to blow off some steam before going home.
And then I rewatched some clips of Crash Landing On You, one of my favourite K-dramas, and sobbed.
So yeah, yesterday took me through probably each one of the major emotions. Today I actually got a lot of stuff done for once, so I've been pretty happy today, and I think I'm going to have a good day tomorrow! As long as my Mean Aunt doesn't start anything at Thanksgiving---although it would be a shame not to be able to use the speech I developed in my head in case that happens, as I'm kind of proud at some of the stuff in there. If it went well, that is, and didn't end in me being disowned by the entire family. But in any case, I get to hang out with Grey tomorrow morning! So I'll at least have a highlight of my day. Toodles!
Three Really Great Days! :D
Nov. 24th, 2025 06:17 pmI've had three great days in a row! If you remember how I said this summer that I was going to make it my best summer ever (at least so far) (which I think I succeeded at, by the way), I think this is going to be my best Thanksgiving break yet as well! 2025 has been a really great year for me. It hasn’t been perfect, but I’ve had an amazing summer, and I got to visit Korea!! And I’ve solidified and deepened a lot of my friendships at college, and I got a boyfriend who’s amazing and wonderful, and I also got to go visit my best friend out west and it’s just generally really amazing!
Saturday, although I was sleepy, I had a nice time chilling most of the morning and afternoon, and my dad and I went out for lunch! We had a nice conversation and it was nice to actually bond with him for once--not a common occurrence. In the afternoon, I went to a thrift store and bought some books, and then hung out at the public library until it closed, where I managed to get my Windows XP laptop (which has been having serious charger issue, as if my MacBook not charging wasn't enough) to actually charge! Then in the evening, Grey and I went into town and had Korean for dinner! It was really great, although we over-ordered--we got kimbap and Korean fried chicken assuming that's all they would give you, but they also give every table fried rice and Korean pancakes. Yeah, we had a lot of leftovers. And that sweetheart insisted I take them all!
Then we drove around for a while, trying to find a nice place to park and just sit and stargaze and relax, but we kept getting lost. But that just made it more of a fun adventure! We eventually just settled on a school parking lot outside of town, and we chatted, and cuddled, and looked at each other's photo libraries and started watching the first episode of Gilmore Girls on my iPod! Partway through we went to a convenience store to use the bathroom, and we got some soda and Skittles. It was a really great evening--and definitely one to remember!
Then yesterday, I had another relaxing morning and I talked with Blue on the phone. I’ve been worrying about whether or not I was 100% “ready” or whatever to make it official with Grey—which, I think, grew out of my whole love triangle dilemma type thing from a few months ago—but talking to Blue convinced me that I had to take life by the balls (so to speak) and just make it official! So I did. :) and it just so happened to be on the four-month anniversary of him asking me out!
And then I went into town and hung out with Ink at the mall! I saw her at Legally Blonde since she was part of that production, but beside that I hadn’t seen her in probably a year! We went to the food court and had lunch and complained about our respective professors/classmates, and then we walked around a bunch of stores and bought some stuff. The mall was having this little fair-type thing for local vendors to come in and sell, stuff so we found some cool stuff. Ink found this massive knit (crocheted?) mushroom cat and I found A) a little Stardew Valley chicken for me and B) part of Grey and Green’s Christmas gifts! Besides that, I acted as Eggshell’s personal shopper and bought him some fuzzy Bluey pyjama pants. I also got some mascara (which I had a minor fumble disaster applying this morning).
After that, we went to Five Below. I got Marble’s Christmas gift, and some Hello Kitty instant ramen (which is realllly good) and got myself a little Bluetooth lip phone thing that connects to my flip phone! Whenever I get or make a call, I can pick it up and talk from it. It’s almost like having a home phone! Except that I can’t actually make calls from it, and it also doesn’t ring. :( But maybe there’s one like that out there!
This morning Grey and I had a really nice date. :) First, we went to this little café in town where I got a pain au chocolat and an Earl Grey tea (although I think I let it steep too long), and then we went to the public library for a cute little study date. I was working on trying to figure out my XP laptop’s antivirus situation—which I got distracted and hyperfocused on (-_-) —and on my English final paper! It’s not due for another two weeks, but I figured it’d be good to get a head start! Look at me, being such a dutiful student! And I got a page and a half out of the four-to-six-page requirement done. So I’ll have an easier week next week! Although I didn’t get to A) working on my linguistics lesson plan project or B) e-mailing my creative writing professor about his bogus feedback on my short story like I meant to. (Okay, maybe the conflict wasn’t fully developed, but “no discernible main character and no real conflict” is bull. Especially considering the main character’s NAME is in the TITLE and she is the ONLY person whose thoughts we actually follow.) But I can do that tonight and tomorrow!
Then, Grey and I went out to get ramen for lunch! It was very yummy. I also got some mango lemonade! It reminded me of our first date, where I had mango boba. :) Grey’s totally great, but I think my favourite thing about him is how open he makes me feel. I feel like I can really be myself freely around him—I don’t have to mask my neurodivergency at all, and (although it’s still hard) I can open up about stuff as well. He’s really amazing. :) If you’re reading this, mwah! :3
Then I came home and watched The Paper—which I really like so far! Although I’ve only watched two episodes. But I like it. Esmerelda is my favourite character! And then I ended up taking a nap. I’ve been staying up late lately (ha) although I’m determined to change that tonight. Speaking of stuff that needs to happen tonight, I need to go heat up my leftovers from the Korean place for dinner! Toodles, everyone! :)
Halloween and Hardships
Nov. 9th, 2025 12:33 pmI went to my summer job work bestie Red's Halloween party on Halloween! It was just me, her and her best friend, and then her roommate and the twenty people he invited. So the three of us hid out in the kitchen until her best friend left since he had work early, and then the roommate and all his friends went to an afterparty. Our cool older cousin-vibes coworker brought his adorable little daughter over to trick or treat as well!! She was the cutest, shiest little princess. :) I about died! (But no, Blue, if you're reading, that doesn't mean I'm going to have a kid yet! LOL) Then Red and I watched weird YouTube videos from back in the day for a few hours (which is my kind of party) until after midnight, and I went home.
The next day I went on a date with the fella I've been dating! Let's call him Grey, because my favourite hoodie of his is grey. :) Anyways, we went out for lunch, and then went thrifting, where we both got some cute clothes, and then had a cute little pizza dinner watching the sunset and got some yummy cookies!
Since then, my life has mostly been unnoteworthy. I'm becoming hyperfixated on Legally Blonde: The Musical, even though it's been quite a while since I saw it! I also went round to a friend's house to play Mario Party on Friday night, which was really fun!
At least I've gotten some time to read a book lately. It's a great reprieve from everything--which is sorely needed, because I've been so busy! I had a draft of a twenty-page paper due Tuesday in my education class, which was a struggle to get done, and then there's been everything else afterwards as well. I'm totally exhausted, and there's still two more weeks to Thanksgiving break!
I am NEVER taking this many credit hours again. I think I've learned my lesson.
Now, off to make some lunch! It's a nice, cold, cozy day so maybe some pasta? I'm excited!
Legally Dirty Blonde!
Oct. 5th, 2025 04:21 pmLegally Blonde was AMAZING. Seriously, I had never watched the movie or the musical before (beside that Illegally Blonde clip that was circulating on-line) and I DON'T KNOW HOW. This movie kind of embodies me. Elle Woods is seriously my new idol. I love her style and her courage. And her vintage iBook in the movie. :)
(From what clips I've seen---I still need to actually watch the movie! Also, the one thing that kind of ruined the play a bit for me was that they used more modern technology, like smartphones. I think Elle fits better not having a smartphone!)
And can we talk about the music? I think "Omigod You Guys" and "Gay Or European" are my favourite songs. I also love "Legally Blonde" and the remix but I hadn't heard those beforehand so I don't remember them as well. I remember a Yuri On Ice fan video (is that a throwback or what?) with "Gay Or European" from ages ago that was actually how I first heard it! When they started singing that song last night I was so hyped!! I squealed internally and was thinking of Yuri On Ice the whole time. Now that was an anime. (At least for me, someone who's only seen four...)
Today I've just been watching YouTube all day and doing nothing! It's nice to relax even if I feel a little bit too lazy. Toodles! :)
Barely (T)Reading (Water) (?!?)
Oct. 1st, 2025 10:36 pmI can't wait for study abroad. I want to get away sometimes, you know? This weird love triangle that I've been in is stressing me the hell out. I feel this constant pressure to choose one of the two guys but I'm not ready to choose yet, but it feels like this impending doom and pressure. I don't know what the hell to do.
I'm so busy and every weekend being taken up by something or other is not helping! This weekend I'm going to my hometown and see Ink, my theatre friend from high school, be in a play production! I'm going with one of the guys. He's so sweet and I feel like i don't deserve him, which makes it worse that I'm not sure if I want to be with him or the other guy, or maybe neither. I don't know what I feel!!
I manage to have good times, of course, but really, I'm just so tired and busy! And I have a four-day weekend next weekend but I'm going to visit Blue. I'm really excited! Although I also want to take off a couple of days afterward to just rest. I wish it were a week-long break! But the weekend after that I'm going to spend at least one day not leaving the house. I am not going anywhere that weekend!! God help me to not be a pushover and to stick to that!
I got a new Mac mini (and by new I mean a 2009 model) that I put a photocard of Minchan from Verivery (in a photocard stand) on so now it's called Minchan! And it's running XP now. Which is what I'm blogging from right now!
Maybe I'll be better able to relax tomorrow if I don't watch YouTube and instead I just read or surf the Net or watch TV, etc. I find those activities are most relaxing after a long day or work. But it's been so long since I had a nice YouTube and crochet (or game) night! But I'm not even really motivated to game anymore, at least at the moment. And I always do maybe one row of crocheting and then my ADHD takes opposite effect and I concentrate on the video, and then I get distracted. Same with TV and crochet nights. Agh!!
So anyways I'm in this whole debacle right now. I can't wait for all of this to be over. Agh!
(Blogger's note: this entry was slightly tweaked a while after I first posted it.)
FALL FALL FALL!!!
Sep. 24th, 2025 09:01 amI also had a TA-led study session last night for my linguistics class, since I have a quiz TODAY! AAAH! So I need to cram beforehand, but that shouldn't be too hard. I hope!! But I'm pretty confident for the most part. I should be able to pull a lot of experiences from my ESL teaching, since that's the area of linguistics my class is dealing with.
I also got into my study abroad university!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!! :D :D :D And so next semester I'm going to be in freaking LONDONNNNNN!!! And Blue got into---well, I won't say for privacy, but a VERY GOOD UNIVERSITY IN ENGLAND!! So things are going very well and I'm quite jolly. Now if only I could get in bed an hour earlier.
My date Saturday went well---we had a nice Sonic dinner and went to Wal-Mart! i think that guy really likes me. Personally, I'm stuck in a love triangle, but that's a story for another time or potentially never. (It's quite anxiety-inducing, actually! One guy lives in my hometown and the other lives on the coast, but I haven't met the latter in person yet so I don't feel qualified to make a decision. This whole thing is a bit of a mess. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT! Only happy things in this post!)
I'm gonna hang out with a friend tonight! And I'm gonna get a lot of homework done this afternoon. And now I have to go cram for my quiz---toodles!
A Great Fall Week
Sep. 18th, 2025 05:47 pmI feel like both a lot and rather little has happened this week. Yesterday and today it's been quite rainy, which is always a real treat for me! And so I got to stay in and read last night, and crochet some, and call a certain guy. :) I've really underrated the pleasure of reading! I should read some more tonight once I get home.
I haven't had too, too much homework this week---actually, I had little enough last night that I finished it all before dinner! I've gotten to crochet some as well, and my hat is coming along seemingly quite well. (It's my first time crocheting something that isn't rectangular---or at least supposed to be!) And I'm finally (mostly) settled into a routine!
Besides that, my Vyvanse is going quite well, and it's finally becoming fall! Actually, I noticed this afternoon that the first leaves had started to collect on the ground. Only a few leaves on the trees have changed colour yet, but fall is coming and I'm excited! I finally get to romanticize college more.
I've been really grateful to be at college this week. I know it sounds weird, but I kind of really love it here! I get to learn so much, live somewhere beautiful and make so many amazing friends! Life's been pretty great this week, and I'm hoping and thinking that tomorrow's going to be a great finale to my school week! I have some fun plans this weekend, but those can wait for another post. :D
And so in the meantime, I hope you're having a great fall (or maybe not fall) day! I know I'm having a great fall week. ^u^