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 Well, I'm sitting right now in Terminal 2 of Heathrow Airport (The Queen's Terminal, according to the big sign—and I also took the Elizabeth line this morning! So much is named after her) and in a bit over an hour when I take off, my study abroad experience will officially be over.

I'll try and do another post tomorrow (?) on my experiences the past couple weeks as I've been slacking on the blogging, though to be fair that's because I've been a combination of burnt out, busy having my last adventures and utterly exhausted. I'm so not setting an alarm tonight,

These four months have been both four of the hardest and four of the best of my life. I love London. I love the possibilities, the adventures, the fact that there's always something to do, the whole world congregated in one city. The thousand-year-old architecture in the same skyline as the twenty-first-century skyscrapers. I feel like London is the city. The old, the new, the planned, the spontaneous, all in one glorious city. It has this wealth, this richness, like nowhere else I've ever been. I've met lovely people and made what I hope will be lifelong friends here, and certainly made lifelong memories and favourite spots. I experienced the beauty that is good public transport infrastructure (I'm sorry, Brits, no matter how much you complain—try living in the Midwest before you tut about train delays).

Maybe a lot of this is similar to other cities, but I think London is its own city. It has this vibe like no other city I've been to in my (admittedly limited) travelling.

But then, it's also been really hard. I wasn't prepared for the workload, the you're-on-your-own sort of apathy academically that meant that I ended up floundering somewhat. I know Blue can back me up on this; the UK academic system is so independent and much more intensive compared to the US, and no matter how much I may complain about the US system, I feel like it's much more atuned to me than the British system, especially since I have ADHD. The lack of structure made things a ton harder for me and academically I was in hell the whole semester. AGH!!! I cried a lot and scrambled to get things done. (Which reminds me, I need to edit the video of my last project on the plane!!) I was burnt out and in genuine anguish like I've never been.

I also learned to love my home. I rag on Missouri a lot, and it's got its fair share of problems, which I'm sure I'll be complaining about in due time, but it also has a fun mall and I can drive places and crank music and it has my college, which I love, and most importantly the people I love. My boyfriend Grey, my parents, all my friends. I missed them all this semester and that also made me sad. I also miss iced tea at McDonald's (NO place has unsweet iced tea like McD's) and Panchero's burritos and especially American Chinese food! I miss orange chicken and lo mein and beef and broccoli and everything. Chopstix just doesn't hit like Panda! (Blogger's note: I realize I'm mentioning a lot of brands but I promise I'm not sponsored or anything!!! LOL I just miss the stuff we have in America.)

I don't know what else to say other than I love London so incredibly much, and I love Missouri so incredibly much. I'm glad to be going home, but sad to be leaving this glorious city, and I WILL be back! (this is a promise and a threat)

I've been so glad to call myself a Londoner for these four months, something I always dreamed of doing.

I love you, London! Until next time, toodles :)
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My semester abroad is flying closer and closer! Blue already left the country yesterday for England, since his program starts a week-ish before mine, and I've started counting down "lasts" for this. It seems silly, since I'll be back in a few months anyway, but still. I'll return twenty years old, first of all---a bona fide twenty-something! And the big thing is that I'm going to miss Grey. We have a few more good days to spend together before we leave, but I'm just really going to miss hugging him, and kissing him (not to be TMI), and just being together, in the same place, through more than just a computer screen. I really love him, and being able to spend so much time together this month has been amazing---it's practically spoilt me rotten. I really love him, you guys!

We had lunch together yesterday---frozen pizza while we watched TV. It was really nice. We relaxed and rested together on Sunday. And it hit me just how blessed I am to have him. In every particular, he's amazing, and we match together so perfectly. He's accepting of me being trans, he helps me work through my insecurities, he's a major goofball and a video game nerd, he goes to church with me, he values communication and emotional openness, and need I go on? He's the greatest blessing in my life at the moment---up there with going to England with my best friend!

I had some mishaps with my hormone doctor, which basically means that I don't have an appointment scheduled before I leave, although I thought I did, and so I'm freaking out about that. I'm going to call them today or tomorrow---I already sent a message/e-mail but no response so far. I'm about running out of my HRT and I'm going to need a refill. AUGH! God help me.

And I haven't even started packing yet. BUT thanks to my dad my white MacBook with the broken charging port is finally up and running again! And in fact, I'm writing from it right now. :) So life isn't all stress. But anyway, toodles!
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 I had a really great day yesterday! It was rainy, and although I did get rained on at one point, the main thing is the ambience! I was able to wear a cute, cozy sweater and a pleated skirt (and an infinity scarf), and I ended up sitting and reading in the school library in the evening! I love reading :D

I also had a TA-led study session last night for my linguistics class, since I have a quiz TODAY! AAAH! So I need to cram beforehand, but that shouldn't be too hard. I hope!! But I'm pretty confident for the most part. I should be able to pull a lot of experiences from my ESL teaching, since that's the area of linguistics my class is dealing with.

I also got into my study abroad university!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!! :D :D :D And so next semester I'm going to be in freaking LONDONNNNNN!!! And Blue got into---well, I won't say for privacy, but a VERY GOOD UNIVERSITY IN ENGLAND!! So things are going very well and I'm quite jolly. Now if only I could get in bed an hour earlier.

My date Saturday went well---we had a nice Sonic dinner and went to Wal-Mart! i think that guy really likes me. Personally, I'm stuck in a love triangle, but that's a story for another time or potentially never. (It's quite anxiety-inducing, actually! One guy lives in my hometown and the other lives on the coast, but I haven't met the latter in person yet so I don't feel qualified to make a decision. This whole thing is a bit of a mess. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT! Only happy things in this post!)

I'm gonna hang out with a friend tonight! And I'm gonna get a lot of homework done this afternoon. And now I have to go cram for my quiz---toodles!

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purplehello98

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